Ok i need help.....Chris would like to me have anal sex with him but.......i am affraid it is going to hurt like hell...the last person i did thta with was smaller then chris and that hurt...chris is 9 1/2 and 3 around ...i know that is not fitting without help...is there any thing anyone has used to ...shall we say loosen up my butt?? i want to give him what he wants and he is not pushing it cause he dont want to push me but i want to do this for him...someone help!!!

Missa

My only suggestion is to use LOTS of lube and go SLOW. My wife was hesitant, but she loves it now. All it took was a few tries and lots of lube....

In reply to Anonymous:
Yup, lots and lots of lube. KY and Astroglide are good ones. Eros is excellant!! Something you can use to "loosen you up???" Start out on your own. Give yourself a nice warm douche, then start with fingers or a small vibrator/dildo. I suggest doing this on your own, where you are more relaxed and in control of everything. From there, just use bigger and bigger toys and maybe bring your hubby in to help out. 3 of his fingers might be a good start. It might be uncomfortable to pump your ass with toys or fingers at first....again, lots and lots of lube. Good Luck!!!

well i suggest the same as others lots of lube go very slow and maybe if u want try a anal plug leave it in when playing u become relaxed and he then can slide it out and then try anal itll loosen u up for him.its gonna hurt hun but if he goes real slow and lots of lube when u get past then uncomfey part ull find it great and even can have orgasm with it ,and its not like vaginal orgasm its way different feeling.my friend helped me get used to it and he was great and had me screaming with a orgasm never knew it could be so good. hope this helps

The best lube I've found is called "Anal Ease". It's not only lube but also a topical numbing agent much like ambesol.
I agree with everyone else, take it slow and lots o' lube. In the long run you should both enjoy it.

Hi There,

My boyfriend and I use a special lube for anal...it has a numbing ingredient....which is good and bad...the good part is that it makes it easier for me to accomodate him...the bad thing is it makes him last longer. The most important thing is LUBE LUBE LUBE LUBE. I can not express that enough. I also did a "yahoo" search on anal sex before trying it the first time to get some words of wisdom. Slow and easy, relaxation, and again LUBE. I've also found that it helps if I've already cum a few times. He should start with one finger and then move up to 2....I don't know how thick he is, so maybe 3...again...it should all be at your convenience. He doesn't have to pentrate the first time you try it....you both should just get used to playing back there...and you should also finger him....it usually feels pretty good for men...if they are not at all homophobic...there are some amazing nerve endings back there....no matter what tho...whether we are talking a pinky or a 12" dildo....LUBE...in and out and all over! Hope this helps. I now enjoy sharing anal with my bf. Good luck!

We like astogluide lube and a small vibe to start,maybe a drink or two,go very slowly to start,lots a lube and 4 play! Good luck.

Missa,

I know everyone is talking "lube" and that's all well and good. I'm not so sure about the one that numbs. I guess that would be ok in the beginning until you get into it. But it kind of defeats the purpose, which is the amazing pleasure to be experienced and I'm not just talking about Chris here, Babe, but you too. Trust me when I tell you that you have not lived until you have had an anal orgasm. It's unbelievable and with a little time I'm convinced you can have one too.

The biggest problem here is not Chris' size although ofcourse you'd be afraid of that at first. The first thing you have to overcome is your fear. Ofcourse it's going to hurt if you are tense and nervous. Get used to ass play. Touch, explore, penetrate with fingers. Enjoy your body and his...After all, isn't that what it's all about? If you feel embarrassed, disgusted or scared you might as well forget it.

When you are comfortable with that step, introduce toys. Gently, lovingly...take it slowly. And, I'm not sure about you, but I find the sting, the stretch very erotic - a huge huge turn on. Maybe you will once you get over your nervousness.

When you do build up to Chris penetrating you, you should be ready. Relaxed, excited, as eager as him. Or don't do it. It's a waste of time. Experiment with positions. It doesn't have to be "doggy style"...face each other..much more intimate.

Hang in there, Missa, it's so worth it. Unspeakable pleasure for you and your lover.

~ C

The key here is RELAX. Yes, Lubrication is a necessity but one must learn to relax the sphincter. This may sound gross but I don't know any other way to relate it. The anus, or for the purposes of a discussion sphincter will accommodate a rather large object. When we deficate we could pass objects 2 or 3" in diameter because we relax and let them exit. Normally we, almost without conscious effort, keep the sphincter tightly closed. When someone tries to insert something into the sphincter the normal reaction is to tighten this very powerful muscle. So the necessary thing to learn is to relax the sphincter and allow the object, the penis and hopefully sheethed in a condom, to enter. (The use of a condom really is a necessary precaution since some nasty bacteria reside in the anus and can cause infection in the penis which can later be transmitted to the partner.) You will feel like if you relax that you will release feces but since the orfice is blocked this will not happen. Once you learn this responce anal sex will become a relatively easy accomplishment. It will take time to accustom the anus to stretch if the penis is exceptionally large but with patience even a wine bottle can be accepted..I have seen pictures...

Lubrication is very necessary, Relaxation , and Patience are the other factors... Once you work on the technique you will probably find anal sex mind blowing... There are more nerves around the anus than in the vagina.... and nerves like to be stimulated....

Good luck and RELAX
Ray

Sorry guys... Butt....uhm (no Pun). If he's 9 1/2 x 3 round the only difficulty should be depth. and that is negligible. As for a lude, if needed with foreplay.(?) Brands such as slippery stuff, and astro glide will be more than sufficient. My Axel is little over six by 8 1/4 and with proper planing and the right touch. We almost never need extra's. However everyone is different. That's what makes us happy! Best of luck! Charlise
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You may reach me on AOL as adv8t.

All you need is too take your time! It's real easy when you're caught up in the passion of lovemaking or great tense sex

i'm 81/2 by 8 in. in dia its all about lube and relax..........start with your finger then two ......believe me it will be worth it

at any adult store you can find a tibe of "anal ease" its a numbing agent & lubracent all in one. it helps to start withe that, put the gel on with your (or his) fingers and slowly work it into and out of your ass. the "alan ease" gell usually takes about 5-8 minutes, it doesnt completely numb you, but it takes teh pain factor out of anal sex and leaves you both with a very enjoyable experiance, and for you once you get past teh pain part, anal sex is very orgasmic for the woman

then after you/he has lossened you up, and he is trying to enter have him go very slow, about 1/4" at a time till the head is in, moving in and out very slowly, he is gonna want to go faster at first, all guys do, but just grab him by the cock hold on to that think till the head is in, after that, its only pleasure. but remember "Anal ease" to start, and a good lube to keep it going!

I read this is a book called 365 Days of Sensational Sex. The best way to have anal sex is to prepare and start slow. Along with lube use this method before he puts him self inside you. One finger for one minute, Two fingers for 2....and so on. This helps loosen you up at a pace you can be comfortable with and lessen the possible pain that comes with having anal sex. Hope it works.

I have this Mistress.That I call mommy.She gives me a strap on.Anally,it is so good.But when I come down from subspace.She litterally fucks me hard.Yes she is a BBW .But that is beside the point.We have fun anal fun and more.SO if you are looking to probe or be probed.Check out strapons it is so good that you get honestly horney.If your mate is into it.
This is a turn on..

In reply to adoorjstopnd:
I agree, lube is the key, but(t) he should withdraw at the first "ouch", let it rest, then try again. If that doesn't work then maybe pick a cucumber about his size and practice.
Mostly it's because he's impatient and being "poked" is not to your liking. Tell him to slow down, it's a woman, and not a piece of meat.
We like it about 3 or 4 times a year. Anymore than that: ?

We use anal gel, with numbing agent. Makes insertion alot easier. Work a finger in first to open the anus up, then gentle add the second. Then its time to slowly insert the cock. Slow, steady and its in. After a few slow easy strokes, Deb likes the tempo, speeded up. The word is slo, lube, lube and lube.

If you start out by using a small anal toy with plenty of lube your muscles will relax.Then move up to a bigger toy again with lots of lube.Once you are comfortable with that then go for the real thing...Hope this helps. sexcpl4

I think a big part of your fear and pain is that you want to do this for him and not for you. When you are ready to do it (and you desire it! after of course some foreplay and fingers) you'll be amazed at what you can hold there...
Sometimes you don't even need lube, just your natural ones from the front. Everything is preparation.

With all my wife's extensive sexual experiences, she had never had anal sex.

We happened to be cruising the cable channels one night and caught Dr. Ruth fielding the same question; "Isn't the butthole the wrong place for sex?"

Dr. Ruth responded,"The anus has a purpose but so does the mouth. Neither are designed for sex but both can be a part of sex."

There's a 3-pointer for Dr. Ruth.

A few weeks later, I was asked by my wife to lube up and try it out. It still isn't her first choice of 'openings' but under the right passionate conditions, I do get the request,"In my butt."

M&K

A few words of caution... If you use something (Anal Ease) to numb the pain, would you not be overriding one of the body's natural safeguards; that is, pain?

My wife has used a dildo on me a number of times 6" long by 7" circumferance, and although it feels GREAT, I wouldn't have wanted her to use that dildo first time out. If it hurts, STOP it! Start smaller, and slowly.

As most people have suggested, the biggest "hurdle" will be your mind. Once you can handle anal sex mentally, look out, 'cause it can be really enjoyable...

Interesting, I have heard everyone say that you need lots of lube, but what about the stimulation??? My wife to resist a lot of the time, but she often gives in on occasion. The only condition is that she cums too.

We lay on our sides and she is in front. I start by reaching over her and massaging her clit. She slowly gets aroused and starts to move. she then pushes back and it is on its way in. Not braggin but I am close to the same measurements, and she is receptive. She does say it hurts, and her cumming too makes it fun for her.

A secret though. she is done shortly after she cums, so be in harmony. Make sure you work together. we even talk to each other so we try to make it together. Her greatest orgasms have been when we have anal.

Also when I give her oral she likes a finger inserted in her. Then she scream and grabs my head... Either it makes all the difference or I am that good. LOL

I agree with jlong.....if I don't have an orgasm at the same time, it is not near as enjoyable for me. But when I do have an orgasm while having anal sex....it is very intense and pleasurable!!!

Relaxation is a must..but also if you have your partner push out while your penetrating,it will be much eaiser and enjoyable.

Lube is all well and good but somthings you just have to work up to it one you have to be relaxed if he brings you to orgasm playing with your fanny while doing other things it may help you be less nervous two ifyour tight loosen up with other smaller toys fingers etc until those become so pleasurable you're ready to move on to bigger things it will add to the expierience if you build slowly up to you parnters member as you will have expectations of your pleasure

Look,girlfrind now wanted to try anal, so this is how we worked our way up to it...we were having sex one night, and she wanted to go doggy style, and she wanted me to put my thumb in here ass... I could feel my rod with my thumb..WOW... THEN SHE WANTED TO FEEL MY ROD IN HER...LOTS.OF LUBE,TOOK A FEW TIMES...SMILE AND GOOD LUCK..

Use "Anal Ease" You can find it at most adult stores. Ask him to go slow at first until you get used to the feeling. Your anus will stretch and with the lubricant (which should come with a heating affect) will feel great. A vibrator also helps...if you can use a silver bullet it takes your mind off of the anal and more on your orgasm. Trust me if you let him do it once...You will love it later

totally do it! let him tickle it with his tungue first and play with your clit some too. ask him to lick and fondle opening first and then penetrate! yummy

a very good friend of mine told me that his ex wifes favorite thing was anal. her advice was to actually push as he's going in. my wife says that it works like a charm lots of times we dont even need much lub.

In reply to sexcpl4:
just wanted to know whenwould you like to chat