To enter this life style, my Wife and I did make some compromises in our thoughts on our marriage. And the results we came out with what we where both comfortable with which was some guidelines and rules for doing a 3 some.

So during the 3 some we could, <ug> all the words that comes to mind here. Pamper, Please, Rock their world, I’m sure you get the idea?. We play the 3some as a gift to the other. I do understand some see this as an open invitation to jealousy, but it is how we have chosen to do it right now.

Here enters our problem.

Say to a guy, hey ya wana fuck my wife, no big problem. Hop in the sack, have a few beers after, all is great.

< Disclaimer > Ladies – I am not discarding your feelings in these matters, this is just from a male point of view.

With that said, it does not seem so simple to get a single female to just come over to play. With all the emotional things and such, which I am sensitive to, and understand, it’s just that I have a woman to tend to already. And she is #1 on my list to take care of every way possible including emotionally.

So far we have had 3 MFM and 1 FMF, the only reason it’s hanging here, is we can not find a female to join in. The last female went off the deep end afterwards and ran to all of our friends at the local hang out blabbing that we basically took advantage of her. Is funny since she was so into the act at the time, she liked it but is scared of it?

With all that said, that brings me back to my main question I started with a long while ago.

It seems it is a lot easier and simpler to find a couple rather than a single female?

So would it make more sense to go back to the battle of fighting over our ideals and beliefs and give up the idea of 3somes, or does someone have some insight to what or where we should go from here.

Or maybe if anyone has tried both, could give some feedback on their thoughts of it. Thanks for taking the time to read this far.

We've found you're right about there being more couples than single females. With some adjustment of how you're looking at this, you might be able to make that work out just fine. If you're not fully comfortable with a full swap with another couple, there's always the option of soft swapping, or something moderate. Same room sex with your wife, or keeping your contact with your play-partner to oral or whatever other limits you might be comfortable with, might be a way to make being with another couple work for you and allow everyone to feel good about the experience.

The key is talking it out thoroughly and making sure everyone is on the same page before you start.Jumping into bed right away sounds exciting, but can lead to the kind of problems you described. It sounds like your friend - the woman who reacted badly after your threesome - might have been expecting something different from the experience than you were.

We're certainly ready to connect with either a female or a soft swap couple. The biggest part for us is giving my wife more chances to experience the beauty of being with another woman. If we can connect with a single female that's great. If it's with a couple who has their limits and understands ours, that's great too.

Well tell you what: Ican't get the wife to have sex with me with another women right now becouse she is not confertable with that and that is ok becouse I love her,but she will have sex with me and another man and I dont have a problem with that.Sooner or latter we may get what we want or we don,t that is the chance we take.But you have to believe in your spouse and thing,s will work out.

Our experience is that single females are almost as easy to find as single males...But it is MUCH easier to connect with a single female than a single male...Or a couple for that matter...But we are friends first, not just a saying, but a mantra.

We have an option for the threesome thing that we do on a regular basis...We have a couple that we are quite comfortable with, and we take turns being the center of attention within the foursome. We will have both wives focus on one husband, both husbands focus on a wife, both wives focus on the other husband, and, of course, both husbands focus on the other wife. This allows everyone to be "spoiled" and allows the spouses to watch and/or film or take pictures, hich we like. We four are all quite visual, so it is nice to be able to watch our spouses in action, without having to be a participant. The only down side of this set-up is that everyone has to be OK with sitting out a session, but doing so with full knowledge that it will soon be their turn. We tend to get together about once per month with this couple, but if you have a couple friend, you can do it more often...Hell do it every day it won't kill you ;)

Hope this helps, let us know.

In reply to jstjim722:

Thanks to you all for you input.

It is very interesting to hear how/what others do. Knowing others have some problems finding single females is nice to hear too. And I thank you for the term “spoil” that is exactly the word I was looking for but couldn’t come up with&#61514;. And also the idea of taking a 4 some a different way, I don’t know why, but I never thought of it that way. I can now see how easy it would be to have a 4 some with little change from what we are looking to do now, since usually having a camera going does add a little more excitement to the act also.
This will definitely give the wife and I something new to talk about… Well maybe a new way to talk about it anyhow. A note on trying to find a single female to join, and why it’s not all bad, The “hunt” is a lot of fun also. It is more of a challenge to find a woman. My wife wishes it was as much of a challenge to get the guys to say yes, instead of all the males just jumping at the chance. :P

keep looking i and my girl kind of freaked in private the first time but still intreasted i think it is the most secure feeling in the world haveing open sex with coulpes 3 or 4