I just wonder, is it stupid to be worry that a relationship can happen when your boyfriend hang around with women when you are at work or when he said that he is aloud to have female as friend....

No it is not stupid to be concerned. Its a catch 22 situation. You have to trust him like he trusts you... but then again... if your relationship isn't strong, he may wander. If it is strong and you are honest with each other... he should be loyal to you.

Question: Since your on a swinging site, do you have an open relationship/swing separately or are you a couple only?

I sorta put that trust in my relationship and without going into detail, it didn't work out for me... I hope you 2 have a positive relationship and the key is ... Be honest. With my new girlfriend, I asked her to be honest and if you want out, just say so without explanation! Don't play games because hurt sucks.... Good luck and Happy Trails.

Since you have posted several times about the same thing I guess it's time to jump in with both feet. You are jealous and maybe with a bit of a reason but that was a different situation and now you've been swinging with men and he trusted you after that incident... Now either trust him or get out of swinging or get out of the relationship since he doesn't need your permission to bed another woman. If he's going to do it he is going to do it, with or without permission. You don't own him anymore than he owns you.. Be aftaid, very afraid that he will cheat since you give him very little choice. You two need to work out the problems, the trust and you should stop swinging while you do. If you don't trust him then get out of swinging or the relationship. If he doesn't trust you same thing.. But as someone said communication is the key... Not you told me this and you told me that... Try something like I feel this way and that way and that way and I feel that this woman yu are looking at has a nice body but I'm not attracted to her, in fact, I find her repulsive. Once you two feel like contimuing to swing then go find a woman that you feel attracted to and that you know he will be sexually attracted to. Then there is the alternative.... Let him swing alone with this woman that he likes.. Bottom line here is he will if he wants to and you may lose him toher because of your jealousy...

I couldn't have said it better myself.

In reply to xplorr94248:

In reply to traveller61:
To reply to your question...
Well he told me that the open relationship is only on my side because I won't gave what he gave me"..
We only did it with male all this time...and he's the one who start everything, he's the one that tell me that he get excited to see me with another male..I don't ask for it and when we don't do it for a while he get frostrated... i don't get it...

In reply to xplorr94248:
Hi thanks for your honest reply..
I know that i am very jalous, and before we start to do this I told him to, I told him that I don't know if I could stomac to see him with another women, his answer was.. don't worry about it... you don't have too I will never pressure you...but when that incident with that guy happen he made me promess to him that he will get.. now its been 4 yrs..

Really he doesn't understant that me too I need to feel attracted to that women as much as him.. but he said that it doesn't matter because its for him not for me...

The fact that he nag me everyday... make me feel like a piece of meat, make me feel that the only thing he want with me is sex...once he's tired of it, and once he found someone that he get along with he will leave..

You two, your husband/SO/BF need to do some serious talking. He needs to understand how you feel... and that;

ITEM 1. It could seriously impact your relationship/marriage in that it will probably break it up if he continues or he cheats.
ITEM 2. That you told him this might happen and you don't feel right about what is going on and besides that if a woman is going to participate with him that you will be involved
ITEM 3.. maybe you can deal with him and another woman if you are not involved and not there when things happen but you two have to have a clear understanding that this is about sex and not love and if it goes to love then that is cheating and then you have to go back to Item 1.

But communication is definitely and absolutely the key to a relationship survival. If you don't feel that you can allow him to have sex with this woman or any woman then get out of swinging but be aware that he will probably cheat, since that seems to be his mindset.

This is the "shit or get off the pot" or "If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen" and finally "don't start something that you can't finish"... We've given you the best that we know, it's now up to you to follow through..

Good luck..Frenchmaid.. Se l' vive`

In reply to xplorr94248:

I have try to talk with him to make him understand how I feel, but all its come back too is, what happen in the pass between me and the other guy, or how selfish I am not to gave him what he want....so in the other hand it hand up in a fight...
He actually told me that the next time I will get laid.. will be when we are in bed with an other women...

Can't agree more with Explorr....Try showing your partner these posts...

In reply to Humorhyp:

You know If I would show him those post he would probably say see I told you, people think that you are jalous and that you are selfish that what I told you all along...

In reply to FrenchMaid:
hi gal as far as i can say if your conserned you should tell him what the world thinks is a mute thing as my dead uncle said don t give advise its a waste of time a smart person dosen t need it and a dumb one wont take it talk to your guy and tell him and either hell reashure you to no threat or he ll stop hell its up to yous so get off this dumb computer if hes worth it and talk to your guy i ll bet he dosen t know how you fell if you cant talk write him a note and have him write back but let him know it buggs you?? good luck bill

Hi!
I have talk to him many time about my concern...all he has to say is What about me, my feeling, I never experience what you have, or what about me I never cheated on you..that all he manage to say.

And then after I tell him what I think (about my feeling) well he get mad and ignore me for day in the house and he doesn't talk to me...so... all he care about is to get screw with 2 women, I think that all he care about!

If you would stop thinking only of yourself and how you are the victum in this situation you might realize that screwing two women isn't really what he is thinking about. You might just hear that all her really wants is a little equality with you, you know being equal partners in life. If he is as horrible as you make him out to be get off your ass and leave him. Or do you like being the victum?? If you take a good look at yourself and your life I think you will find that you put yourself in situations where you end up as the victum. I also think you do this so people will feel sorry for you, and you love the attention it brings.

In reply to FrenchMaid:

In reply to hornyncute:

Well unfortunately I am not looking for attention, and i am not looking for some sympathy from anyone and I am not looking for people to feel sorry for me I was looking in this place just some people who I can talk too.
I feel that you juge me wrong!
Because he his really that way! and I don't do this to get attention..
Why do you think that I do on purpuse to put myself in that situations where i am a victim?

So what do you mean here:
If you would stop thinking only of yourself and how you are the victum in this situation you might realize that screwing two women isn't really what he is thinking about. You might just hear that all her really wants is a little equality with you, you know being equal partners in life.

Hey FrenchMaid, if you like I can write you in private. Let me know.

In reply to FrenchMaid:

In reply to hornyncute:
hi baby girl this time i think that she woke up and was there,i ve been there god sucks but love is worst,cause while tring to make the man in her life happy by doing any and all,she didn t notice that the little words had changed from us and we to i and me,somewhere he lost foucas of her,and shes to blam to cause god knows she forgot some little worsd like my trun you ll love it and you ll love this?i here little things like that and i dont care what it is i m right behind you cause i got to know??girl who cares if its by car bike or boat its not always the trip now and then its where your going?????if that don t work base ball bat will peek his head?

In reply to bt945382000:
Hi!
Sorry I am not too sure what you are saying...sorry about that can you explain more in your reply to hornyncute.
Thanks

In reply to hornyncute:

Sure you can! But how do you do this..

An other question, I have 2 messages in my mail box but can't seem to be able to read them, do you know why?

In reply to FrenchMaid:
if you can't open them then most likely you are a free member and can only open a letter every 72 hours

In reply to hornyncute:

Ok Thanks hornyncute

In reply to FrenchMaid:
If you want you can write me here and send me an e-mail address to write to you direct. That way we can talk about your situation and why I have made the comments I have. I await your letter.

In reply to hornyncute:
nmontambea@gov.mb.ca

In reply to FrenchMaid:
Frenchmaid.. you work for the Provincial Government.. just be careful they aren't monitoring your email and surfing activities.

That is why your chat doesn't work there.

Happy Trails.. Radar61.. Oops.. Traveller61

In reply to traveller61:
oh ok Thanks...I will...

In reply to FrenchMaid: I read through the entire thread and I think you are on the horns of a dilemma. I seems your guy is a bit selfish and that will not change. I am not sure what I would have advised before all this started but it seems to me that given where you are you should perhaps try two things and I mean both not one at a time. 1. Talk to him about all your feelings and 2. Take a big breath and let him have his fantasy once just to get it out of the way.
After that you may find that he will be more willing to talk, in which case you get to resolve the problem, or that your insticts were right and you will loose him. In the second case I would say you already have lost him you just don't know it yet. My view would be that if you loose anyway the quicker the better, if on the other hand you win why extend the agony. IN any case my heart goes out to you, I know what it is like to be hanging without knowing where things will go when you care. Good luck and if there is anything I can do let me know.

In reply to FrenchMaid:

After reading travellers post are you sure you want me to write to that email address??

In reply to hornyncute:

Hey Horny.. I empathize with Frenchmaid and all but as a former gov't employee (I left on my own) I know from experience that the Security "Intelligence" Division (Oxymoron) does monitor web traffic for security breaches and intelligence threats.. An MSN or Hotmail email might be best.

Thanks for helping her... Happy Trails.

In reply to hornyncute:
Hum, crap.. now I have to think about this one..
I don't want to loose my job.. but do you think they mind if I do this during my lunch hours..

Sweets, set up a hotmail account ... they can't track that one cuz its unofficial. Enjoy.

In reply to traveller61:

Ok so here is my new account..
bleu_and_red_green@yahoo.ca

In reply to FrenchMaid:
Is that the same as < Bleu_Rouge_Vert@yahoo.com >

In reply to xplorr94248:

yes, it is.. but I don't think it will work if you write it in french...lol

It may not work to write in French but you could definitely bring out theFrench in me. The family is originally French but it basically scattered to England and Holland at the end of the 18th century... There was this little thing called the French revolution at the end of the 1700's and the family estate is in Norde France. No part of the family lives there. Most in England, USA, Canada, and then Australia. That is the order of distribution from most to the least. You're a sexy lady..
Ray

In reply to xplorr94248:
Wow this is amazing to have family coming for place to place like that...
Well me I am French and Metis... I have metis decendent.. supposely..some people told me that you can see it in my face.

Thanks for the compliment Ray!
So I change my e-mail adress so it does not come directly to my work network...

See you got me all confussed now, all I can think of is Le Petit Mort ;)
A little more and I'll offer to deliver my advice in person LOL.

In fact if everyone did that we could have a party and that may cut the gordian knot of jealousy for you.... NOw there is a thought, take him to a party where he can swing with someone who you would not preceive as a therat.

I do hope things work out for you, but after all that's transpired it seems to be complicated.

In reply to LStarr:

Yes its a little complicated... but they say that somethime we complicated our life our selve.. maybe that what I have done...oupps..

Well I guess my li'l bit of English humor did not translate well into French, so let me clarify.

The reference to "petit mort" (or small death) describes what I understand in French to mean an orgasm whenever I think of you, or put differently that I think you are a very pretty lady and highly desirable, no offense intended. I think your boyfriend knows this and that is why he is jealous.

Reading the other thread as well I conclude again I have difficulty offering advice because I relate to women and relationships in a different way. I would be mortified if any woman thought that I "would beat the crap out of her" as you thought your BF would when he came down. I have never hit a woman in my life and can't think of why I ever would. I would not respect any man who would even consider it, so I could not see why any topic cannot be mentioned.

As to the other guy forcing himself on you, for so it is described, I can't follow how things could have gotten that far out of hand, and I certainly can see no reason why you would ever be around him unloess perhaps to prosecute for assault.

My question would be, are all the men in your life abusing you? Among the sins one could assign to you, permiting that might not be the samllest one. Demand respect and respect others, don't let them tread on you.

Again, I hope all turns out for the best.

My suggestion that you take the BF to a party where he might get his desired FMF may still have some merit, but other than that I am sort of stumped. And if that advice works and BF still looks favorably on MFM by all means give me a call, I think i am terminaly in lust with you ;). LOL

In reply to LStarr:

Hi...how are you?
Well some man has...and not too sure why I let this happen!
My bf did hit me a while ago... he was furious when I told him what happen and because he doesn't believe me he think that it went further and he was arguing about it.. that's when he hit me but said that he would never do this again when he get that angry he walk away.

One thing that I can't stand is that it arrose him and he want me to talk about the 3somes we had, I don't have problem with that.. but then he wants me to talk about what happend downstair... I did a few time but I was not comfortable with that because when ever I said something he went and said.. "come on" you did more than that.. how did you fuck him.. and stuff like " my reply to him was that now I refuse to talk to him about that... because I does not do nothing to me other make me angry and bring down stuff that I regret having done...

Well the part of having FMF is a big problem in our relashionship because he always bring that on me.. so yes I would like to do this as soon as possible because then it might get some anger out of him...the problem with him is that He is mad because he said that I took advantage of him by have 2 males and never get him nothing in return so he said that I am selfish. But he get everything he want $$$$ wise, and I clean, cook and do everything else but he said that its not really related to this…he want me to gave him back what he gave me sexually…
He also bitch about that I’m not as spontaneous as when I was with that guy downstair… but hes was not there so he doesn’t know…all he does is that he play out of FANTASY in believing that I did this and that… its crazy…

So you are """ terminaly in lust with me ;)''''''''. LOL (thanks for the compliment) I guess I look better that what I think of myself...lol

Yeah well, I am in lust .. c'mon over let's really make your bf jealous LOL.

As I said, if you had your FMF at a party with a pretty but distant woman you may find enough courage to let it happen without falling apart, and it may put this whole thing behind you, although I suspect not..

As I read through your story I can't help but think that your BF's anger is at least in part sublimated sexual excitement. That also fits well with the fact that he initiated the 3somes and likes to watch you with another man. My guess is that in a latent way he wants to be cuckolded but doesn't know it yet.

Cuckolding like swinging is a lifestyle all its own, you might try and look it up on line. So consider how much you are ready to be a Dom to his submissive self.. and maybe gently ask him to think about whether any of his uptight feelings maybe bound up in that. I may also be totaly wrong, but that little mischievous man who sits on my shoulder and says .. wow, imagine what if this was a party and she was lunch.. that little man thinks I may be onto something.

Best of luck and keep us posted. And yes you are sexy in a girl next door sort of way .. wow, I hope the girl next door never figures out what's smoldering in my head.

In reply to FrenchMaid:
me and my wife are furious that any man would hit a lady such as your self we both grew up watching our moters get hit and cannot stand it not when it is his control freakish nature that got you there in the first place we would love to talk to you personally about your situation in your controlling and physical and mental abusive relationship sincerely chris and brandy yngflcpl4u

In reply to yngflcpl4u:
In reply to FrenchMaid:
Hi how are you?
Thanks for your reply!!!
Nope its not fun at all and the worst sometime is that people ask me why I stay there.... its not that easy to leave a relationship after 18 yrs...he has good side too but his aggressive side he said that its come out because I make him so angry, he said that I am dishonest.. so.. I told him that he can think what he want.. and that I know what I did and he can't change that and that he won't make me say stuff that I did not do...

In reply to FrenchMaid:
Based on what I just read, you being hit, 18 years or not is not worth any guy, relationship or whatever... you are an enabler by allowing him to do this and justifying his actions. Yes, 18 years is a long time but given I just did it after 23 years, it sucks but in the end, it is all worth it. You'll come to realize that life actually is good.

As I said before, you are a good looking lady...and I'm sure are fun to be with... Run, while you still can... things only go downhill unless your both WILLING to go to counselling... and swinging in any shape or form is not counselling. A solid relationship has to be there before any type of swinging can be good.

Good luck for Happy Trails do lay ahead.

2063127342 call my box