Hi, we are couple 37, he have been together for about 14 yrs and 12 yrs in the lifestyle.. but were with male only...
We had a close call related to a male ingage with us...
Now my bf want to be with a female, that actually promiss him about 3yrs ago, but because I'm so insecure because the incident that happend in between me and that male, now I scread to do it with a women in frea that the same will happen with that women...
He so piss off that he did not get his promess fufill that sometime he tell me that he won't gave me nothing until a bring a girl for him.

The other problem is that he pick a women that I don't get along with and I found her very unattractive to me, so I'm not interested and i notice that she seem to like her a little bit too much for my taste so that make me very insecure.. the his response was..."there is nothing wrong with her she has a nice body" you have no excuse to say no..well my excuse is that she is not attractive and that its a women that we see at the nude beach all the time and I would feel very uncomfortable with that...

Can you please gave me some advise...

Thank in advance... FrenchMaid

Stick to your guns Girl! Do not do anything you don't feel good about. You need to communicate with your partner in a no nonsence manner and make him understand that if it's not ok...it's not gonna happen. With that much time in the lifestyle, you both should have known better regarding the "close call" you had with the single male. Again, communication is the key here. Good Luck!!

Thanks for you reply its very appreciated..
I feel like i'm getting push into something that I don't really want to do..
the problem is that because we did it some many time with a male, and that he ask me many time to do it with a female well I gave in to it and told him ok we will do it.. but now its been 3 years and nothing happen.
He get mad all the time saying that I took adventage of him so we could do it with male and now I don't want to do with with women.
He said that it seem that every women that he pick they never good enough for me..
I Its kind of true.. for some reason he pick friend that he wants to do it with, people that hang around with him when I,m at work and I don't really feel comfortable with that because at the end I will be the one who suffer. For exemple me meet a girl at the beach where we go most of the summer (its a nude beach) well I guess she meet his attention related to her body, but I found her ugly, she is fit but her face is horrible and I don't find her attractive at all.. but he does and he want to do it with her.. now he harrass me about it and tell me that I have no excuse not to do it with her...and I told him that I would not feel comfortable if we would do this with her and then in the summer when i am at work he goes the the beach and hang around with her...
But he seem not to understand..he get mad becasue he did not get the 2 women that I promess him..
Sometime I feel that he's not really interested to be with me..because why does he get mad for that.. because he did not get to have sex with some other women..
OR is it me that is too selfish and picky, and insecure.... im so lost its not funny

No you shouldn't do anything you are not confortable with, but i can see where he may feel left out on his side if you promised him (for 3 years ) to go his way also. It seems that the lifestyle is for both to enjoy. So just find someone you are confortable with also. I think that might solve some of the issues. It just seems that both partys should enjoy what they like.

In reply to housemouse32:
Hi, Thanks for your reply..
I know that its not fear because its been 3 years and nothing happen! but my problem is that he pick women that he want to be friend with, he want to hand around with them...
Like one of them he pick last years she use to come over my place to hang around with him when I was at work, and then I start thinking.. well he want to do this with her.. how i am going to feel after that we did it and that they spend sometime togerter when I'm at work...because they use to phone themself about a few time a day and chit chat and then she use to come over when I was there too and also when I was not there...so I did not want to feel more insecure that I was..

This is actually one of my bigest problem..I don't want to have those girl stick around afterward..I don't know if I'm right or not...but that's how I feel..
Now he's off work for almost 1 1/2 and he's always by himself when I'm at work..again this summer we meet a girl at the nude beach.. well I guess that her body interested him..and he want to get to know her so he can bring her in bed with us.. personnaly I found her ugly, her face.. yes she has a not too bad body..but I don't really found her attractive.. but that's not the point.. she hang around at the same place then us and to do somethine with her I would not feel comfortable because I goes to the nude beach by himself when I'm at work what if now that we would of done something he would probably feel comfortable with her... and then what would happen...????

I have been debating with myself on wheather or not I should reply. This is a subject I feel strongly about so here comes my two cents. First of all I smell a green eyed monster here. This jealousy did not just show up in the last month or two. It's been there for years, that's why you didn't do as you promised him. The real question here is why did you keep doing it with men when you knew you couldn't or wouldn't allow him to be with another women. You ask us if you are selfish.......the anwser to that is easy.......YES!!!! I am not trying to be mean or harssh, just truthfull. Sometimes the truth does hurt. Look how hurt your husband is, or I guess he could be your boyfriend. I hope you haven't destoryed your relationship with him. That maybe what you really want. My advice to you, if you want to keep your relationship alive and well, quit fucking other men and go out and find some one who you both would like and just do it.

In reply to hornyncute:
Hi thanks for your honest reply, I ask the questions and I can take honest answer..
No I don't want to loose my bf...yes I did mistake in the relationship, and Yes I feel very jalous...but i'm not a bad person...the big problem is that I admitt my mistake but he doesn't..

Yes I have been dealing with this issue for years " Jalousie" but I'm working on it...and the reason is why we were still doing it with male ...here I will explain myself..

When we started all this he's the one who wanted to do this.. he told me that too see me with another male would be an excitement for him, I told him that I was not sure because I won't be able to do this with another women..his reply was that I should not worry about it.. that I don't have to do this with another women..
so we did after the nagging he did for month with me we did and he wanted more..even now that he have not do this for a while like 1 years he get annoyd with me because I don't feel to find a male to do it with...now 3 years ago, when the incident happen between me and the other guy.. then he made me promess to do it with another women.. he put so much pressure and stress on me that I said ok I will because I fealt so bad with what I did...and trust me I paid for it by him putting me in the dirt, been very abusif to me (verbally, mentally and physically) but I told him ok we will... but every women who seem to want to do it.. it seem to me that there not good enough.. or that I don't feel attracted to them, or I feel that they wants to be to involve in my private live (like giving order to my son when I'm just sitting there, or doing my cleaning in the house) or I have the feeling that my bf want more then Sex with them...
This is why I told him "yes"...

I have read book, article.. about Swinging and stuff...and still looking for more to try to help me overcome this ugly personnality..
He's not jalous at all.. even that sometime it kind of bothering me.. because he has no problem sitting on the bed and watching me fucking an other male..sometime I feel like a piece of meat..because all he said it that I'M good in bed, and i'm good at this but all sexual.. never gave me other compliment the way I look, or the way I dress... not too good for my selfesteem because he say it about other women when he see them on the street but not me...

Jealousy is not a true emotion. Very little has been written about jealousy but much of what has been written is BS. Here is part of an article that I wrote about the subject.

A topic that my partner & wife wants me to write and article about. Jealousy is NOT an emotion. It does however have the tendency to trigger emotional responses. Jealousy is mostly a fear reaction. Fear of loosing or to be quite blunt it relates to possessiveness. Fear that someone else is a better lover/sex partner
than you. Fear of inadequacy, that you are not good enough. Fear he is bigger than you that she will like the size of his member better than you. For the ladies that she is tighter than me or just feels better. These are not
the only fears but probably some of the most prevalent.

Once we realize what jealousy is it make it
much easier to deal with. It will raise it's
ugly "green monster" head from time to time
but knowing what it is does help to suppress
such feeling.

Maybe this will help you understand you feelings and get past them. Good luck

In reply to xplorr94248:

Thanks for you attention on this subject...it help

I think Hornyncute said it best...However....You said..."Sometime I feel that he's not really interested to be with me..because why does he get mad for that.. because he did not get to have sex with some other women.."
I really think that says volumes...
Perhaps working on your relationship may be something you may want to think about....Good luck.take care.

In reply to Humorhyp:

Well I know I am jalous, but the thing is that he said to me that he would never pressure me, now he pressure me to do it with someone that I don't really like and the worst is that when we see her like this weekend he does thing just to upset me and make comments to me about her which does not make me feel really wanted by him..but make me think that he like her a lots...

It is a funny thing, We have been in the same situation. Here is a thought! Why not find the person you want? You find someone who is okay to you, and you set the night. Make dinner and invite the person over for fun.

We ran into her saying that she wanted someone she new, and then someone she did not know. How about an experienced escort to break the tension. She's done it, and she can show the way?

I agree with the previous post, and I will say that in retrspect you keep alluding to "an incdent" with a man but you never did tell us the whole story on that, perhaps we could give you a better view if we really understood what happened. I get the sense that you almost ran off with another guy, but maybe I am reading too much between the lines.

We don't think you are reading to much between the lines. She is just afraid he will do the same to her as she did to him.

In reply to LStarr:

In reply to hornyncute:
If that were true she's got some big time issues. Perhaps they are not cut out to swing, or not cut out to be a couple or both. It is not a bright idea for a conventional relationship to depend on each mate finding the other one constantly to be the "best buy on the market". "Couplehood" is based on the notion that both partners are off the relationship market, regardless who they happen to play chess, cards or have ssex with. I would say it is a non starter if you swing in any way.
On the premise that she learned that as a result of the "incident" she certainly has failed to articulate it to him and her objections are by her own admission are still based on her never having trusted the whole swinging idea rather than the concept that he may not have learned what she did from that "incident".

i met a woman who supposedly told me she's in an open relationship and wanted to pursue me outside the relationship. i haven't heard from her in awhile. when i wrote her to find out if she wasn't interested or not, she admitted to me that she's not as open as she thought. at first, she told me that she has been in relationships before and her husband wasn't. now, it's the other way around. her husband found a secondary or tertiary partner and she feels left out. are you feeling that you could be left out or kicked to the curb? or do you think that this is not the option for you. if you want to do this with another female, i would tell him that you're not comfortable with this woman but you're willing to do it with another female that you both feel comfortable with. Hope that answers your question. Good Luck.

In reply to thomasveil:
Thanks for your reply!

I did tell him that I was not comfortable with this women, that I would preferd someone that I feel attracted too and someone I could trust because over this weekend I heard from some people that know her well that she is not very trusteble, but most of the time what I really bug me is that he want to do this, then he want for the women to stay over and stay to the night and keep her close friend, and I want to do this, then she can leave and I want to seperate the sex from my friend relationship.. I don't know if you will understand what I am saying..

the only thing that i can suggest is have these people tell him about her and that she can't be trusted. otherwise, i think you're going to be in for a rough ride. if he's not going to be understanding about your feelings then this is not going to work and maybe in the long run could end your relationship. i do hope things will work out for you. Take care.

In reply to thomasveil:
Thanks!
I will try my best but for some reason he is hock on this one but I am not, with her I just can't do this...I don't want a relationship with those people...I want it done and over with and this girl hang around at the same beach then us all summer long, in a matter of fact right now he at the beach when I am at work... and who knows if she is there or not.. I trust him and hope that he's not going to be that stupid, the I little nervous if she is there what kind of conversations will they have regarding this...but there is nothing I can do.. he is not working so he can be there as much as he want...

all i can say or suggest is that you all sit down and dicuss this issue, andcome to an understanding. cocerning the other woman sit down and discuss the type of woman your'e comfortable with and choose together.

i kind of agree with easy on this. all 3 of you sit down and you should come out front and tell her and him what you're feeling. if he isn't going to hear you out then i think you should tell him that you can't do this.

In reply to LStarr:

To replay to LStarr… about what happened with the incident with that guy..
Here what happen…
This guy was the person with who we had our 3somes, many times.. when my bf was not there or he was a sleep that guy came after me, trying to kiss me or hug me and so one.. I push me away all the time because I told him that it was not fair to my bf…but I never inform my bf because I was worry that he would be mad…but now I know that I was wrong not to tell him.. in my self I tough that I was strong enough not to go forward with his advance and in the other hand I made me feel good that someone was thinking I look attractive.. (because my bf did not gave me those comment very often)…so one night we were all drinking and we took some mushroom I did that for the first time, I did not really do it but my bf wanted me to try it.. so I did..well that night I don’t know what took over me…my bf fell a sleep and then I went downstair to get my stuff before I went to bed.. that that guy follow me, then he starte to compliment me and we kiss.. but I keep pushing him away because I felt inappropriate, for about 3 second.. we had oral sex.. and when I said 3 second it was because it was very fast…
Then I told him “no” sorry but I can’t do this.. I have to go..I left the room.. and as soon as I left the room my bf came down…I was out of the room before he came out…
Now he ask me what happen.. I could not talk in fear that he beat the crap out of me..
Later on during the few week I when I got all my sense together I told him what happen..I had a hard time to tell him because I know that I hurt him very bad, and I really felt like shit for what I did…this happen once, never before and all the other time he was trying on me.. I told him no…
Now…after that incident my bf was trying to make me say that I fuck him, that I plan this all along, BUT I DID NOT…AT ALL…he was trying to make me say stuff that I did not do.. I was very tired of his harrassement… I wanted to end this and tell him, yes that right I fuck his brain out… but I did not do that.. and I tell him what I did.. but he did not believe me.. he told me that I heard him coming down and that why I left the room.. I did not heard him I said to him, I leaf the room because I felt like shit for what I have just done..
Well still this days after 4 yrs he ask me questions.. not as much as before but now he ask me questions when he get mad at me for not wanted to be with him and another women….

So this is what happened

In reply to hornyncute:

Hi, I have a new e-mail if you want to e-mail me about what you wanted to tell me before.. here it is..:

bleu_and_red_green@yahoo.ca

This one is better!
Talk to you later

I have to say....this relationship is not a healthy one. You are afraid the "he will beat the crap out of you"....Stop the nonsence, this "incident" is the least of your problems! No disrespect intended, but just reread what you have said about your relationship! Get out now!!
Good Luck...

Well, that is what I thought as well, but maybe not.. read my thought on cuckolding in the other thread. I would feel different though if he ever touches you again, then I would agree with the previous post. BY nature I am however cautious. You say your relationship is now 14 years old, that is longer than a lot of marriages, and while I do not condone him hitting you I would not abandon 14 years for 1 mistake, as long as that is what it really was and as long as it does not signal a trend.

Part of me also says that he did not wait for 12 years (the time you said you have been in the lifestyle doing 3 somes) to get his FMF. If it was that long he must have enjoyed seeing you being taken by the other guy regardless of any FMF hopes as well. The fact that he waited that long to get angry at one out of control incident and that he wants to talk about what it was like when the other guy was fucking you (I understand that did not happen) suggests to me that he is trying to build that scenario not push it away and forget it like you do. WHIch does not mean that he is conscious of that desire, still.. maybe you should ask, but very very carefully. I do not want my advice to be responsible for you being beat up.

In reply to LStarr:
Yes it been over 14 years we are together, actually I was 21 when we start going out.. so it been longer, it doesn’t seem that long but when he like that it seem very very long…so I guess its been 17 yrs….And yes I do tell the true in what I said.. I have no reason to lie to you guy’s, I’m here because I wanted to have some help, answer, tips, and also friendship so I not lying about what happened with this guy’s or about our relationship. (yes I have my fault, this I admit). But I guess my problem is that I have hard time to bend to gave him what he wants regarding the sex with an other female… anything else he get….
-Yes he said that he enjoy very much seeing me with other male….
-Yes that right I never fuck that guy bymyself… just with my bf around…

Sorry but because of my French sometime I have a hard time to understand.. what do you mean by this… (((suggests to me that he is trying to build that scenario not push it away and forget it like you do. WHIch does not mean that he is conscious of that desire, still.. maybe you should ask, but very very carefully)))))

I don’t really mind when he wants me to talk about what happen between me, him and the other guy when we where together.. but I do mind when he wants me to talk about that night when I was with the guy bymyself…it bother me because inside I feel like a piece of shit for what I did, it just bring the pass and it doesn’t make me feel good at all…

ok the only thing 2 people have is trust and hounesty you lied to him 3 yrs let him do you for 3yrs and see if your not dissapoint and upset that he lied to you hes worst than piss hes hurt and crushed the the most important person in his life is a joke 3yrs hell i could build a hose by hand you could nt find a gal or hier a pro to keep your promise hell you don t care about what hes feeling bottom line put up or shut up to promise your best freind in your life and not even make a atemtt in 3 yrs patsions my ass hell i would tie you down and bring in a gal you hate if it was me to get even you don t lie or lie by breaking your word to a stranger why would you do him like that good luck your bull shit just really fucked up his faith in you if you want him get your head out your ass and kiss his hell nevada prostution is leagl and a pro is doing a job but much more without you trying and hell get 2 gals and you won t be one think about the hurt and trust you might as well of told him i ll say what you want it dosen t matter cause its how i feel not what i say hes dissappoint not piss its not all about you ,guys feel and hurt as bad as a gal when trust is gone why you there if he can t trust you,you made the promise fofill your end and appolgize for takeing so long and make shure you never say anything agin that your not going to do he might work with this one but do it to him agin your words are just noise,make him happy what anyone else thinks is bull if you make your man happy and he you you wont feel insecure just happy so go fix it or have him wonder about ever word you say,ya im a ass but i have promises in writing with times and dates of by when FROM MY XWIFE OF 27YRS so put up or shut up its about you and him not you or him try saying to him we or us instead of i or me if you think in i or me get a job or be a real hore and do the dead but now make a chose before he fills the promise by proxie lots of luck bill

In reply to xplorr94248:
to ray i can t read it for 2 or 3 days but to answer you in my frezzer till sundays barbaque 3rd picture on my post 33.5 10.5 lbs calmon down gals its a fish caugt today wheres your ray when you comeing out here i ll show you where?later bill 40yrs i tolled you it could happen i see angles

In reply to FrenchMaid: I have to agree with some of the other posts you have a lot more issues than being attracted to another woman. First of all to be mentally and phisically abused by anyone is unacceptable anywhere. You have to be comfortable in whatever you do . I would never ask Rhonda to do anything she is not comfortable with. We set the rules before hand and stick to them. Being with other people is recreation and not a condition of our love . She enjoys the touch of making love to another woman and I surely enjoy watching or joining in on occation . But everything is mutual and not one sided .You need to come to an understanding of what you want in your relationship with no violence on eithers part. Sex hould be pleasing and satisfing for all. NOONE should ever do anything you don't want to.Even if you made a promise you have a god given right to change your mind without being hit. this is something that should be enjoyble.
We also go to Nude resorts and campgrounds where people have better bodies than I do but we love each other and are honest with each other so we are sure about what we want and before we do anything it has to be OK with both of us.

I couldn't put it any better than "biker" (the last post)....You made a mistake...that is bad....but it was his choice to keep the relationship going...it is not ok for him to continue with you in an unhealthy relationship and mentally or physically abuse you. I understand you have been together a long time, and so it may be hard to realize that how he is treating you is not right. The swing scene is all about open communication and adding some fun to a relationship...not destroying it or hurting one party. Swinging should never be forced...a particular new sex partner should not be forced on either person in the couple...your relationship should be number one. But at this point I think your physcial and mental health and safety should come above it all..be true to yourself and honest with him. Don't let him hurt you in any way. if you really are ok with another girl and just not this one i think it would be best if YOU had control over who the girl was and when the night takes place...just please please be safe.

I haven't been here for awhile but I see you are trying to blame your bf for your lies and mistakes. Time to grow up Frenchie. But you won't.

In reply to FrenchMaid:

I see a couple of caution flags here..... first of all this is supposed to be fun. Doesn't sound fun.
Secondly, I hear about hallucinogens like mushrooms in the mix and I have to tell you that unless you are really, really good friends, that is probably not a good sex drug.
Thirdly, I hear you describing a lot of pressure coming from your guy to get involved in things that you don't seem to be willing to say "no" to.
Some guys like watching women have sex. Some guys are absolutely juvenile about it. I hear a lot of women say that they are interested in doing it "for him" and my spouse and I tend to go find someone else to play with.
Like I said, this is supposed to be fun. You have to give each other permission to explore the experience within boundries that you have previously agreed to. If you step out of bounds, that isn't necessarily a bad thing, but you both need the skills to communicate and it doesn't seem like you have them.

Doesn't sound like either of you have what it takes to be a swinging couple. Doesn't mean you can't be sexually dynamic on your own, it is just that it shouldn't be so unhappy.

Our sex life is a turn on, with naughtiness, and exploration and anticipation of more such experiences. It isn't perfect but we both know what we want and respect each other while we go for it....She loves the variety and the experience of different men, as I do women, and the threesome thing can be such a turn on....

Good luck

In reply to xplorr94248:

The vice of reason, happy thanksgiving.

------
[Snarcels]

In reply to snarcels:
The VICE of reason....that's pure humor... Considering the site....
Ray

In reply to hornyncute:

I am not trying to blame my bf for my mistake at all, all I am saying is that we are 2 an a relathionship and I am not the only one to blame for all that stuff! He made mistake too and everyone does..

In reply to FrenchMaid:
Hi! You have to move beyond blame together or move on in your life apart... dwelling on the past is not healthy... You can change something that happened 5 minutes ago, forgive, forget or leave... the choice is yours.. Good luck.

In reply to traveller61:
Hi! You have to move beyond blame together or move on in your life apart... dwelling on the past is not healthy... You can change something that happened 5 minutes ago, forgive, forget or leave... the choice is yours.. Good luck.

Yes I know Traveller that one day you have to stop to blame people for their mistake, and its very rare that I put stuff back on my bf back, I try to move on with my life and I want to be happy and stop thinking about the mistake that was made during our time together, because everyone does mistake, and I am willing to forget and forgive...but he seam to have a hard time with that.. and its not just with me, its with everything that suround him .... one of my aunt that was very close to us before made a mistake that hurt us both of us...at first I was very mad and him too.. but you can't stay mad all you life it really eat you inside.. so I forgave her for what she did and started to talk to her, It was not the way it was before but I was friendly.. but him he did not he still dwell over what happen and this was actually 14 years ago... I don't understand why he is like that..
You know even a stupid mistake if someone forgot to do something when they say they were suppose to the will drill you for ever over it..
He's not a bed person, he has a big heart and I do love him but sometime Its too much stress...

In reply to FrenchMaid:looks like you might lose him if you do the 3 but it sounds like you will if you don t,hell of a spot but if you love him and you want to be with him make him happy he took the risk with you so by now you could have done it and moved on,ps. do it with your hart in it or it will just make your sittuation worst if you just go threw the motion,so tell him that the gal he wants won t works but put forth a real attemped at finding one that will ?but be strat with him this time maybe thers something eles you could settle on ask him?

In reply to FrenchMaid:
Its a tough spot to be in and ultimately your decision to make... you learn to deal with the stress or say you've had enough, cut your losses and move on... I speak from experience and frankly am much happier for it now...

Good luck...Traveller.

In reply to bt945382000:

Hi! How are you?

What do you mean by:

but be strat with him this time maybe thers something eles you could settle on ask him?

In reply to FrenchMaid:tell him what you feel be honist with him don t say what he wants to hear tell him how you feel and what you will do for him

In reply to bt945382000:

In reply to FrenchMaid:tell him what you feel be honist with him don t say what he wants to hear tell him how you feel and what you will do for him

Hi!
I kind of know what you mean, but not totally....

We went to a place where people can meet there, you can rent rooms and you can invinte people to your rooms or you can show off just leave your room door open!

We went there one night, we had some fun, but just us together...
I want to do this for him but sometime he's so mean that i feel that he just wants to do this for revenge not because its fun! He pressure me too much...! I did told him that I won't do it with that girl he pick, but I will with someone else!

To tell you the true it would not suprise me that he been with someone else in my house when I am at work, because he's not working and he's always at home by himself...

Let me ask you a question?
Why a 37 yrs old men would have a problem to have an erection????

He on meds from a previous semi accident (he is taking morphine, and valium, and some kind of other stuff) but I tough that the med would cause to do this... his answer that he gave me was the the doc said it should not affec his sexual drive... only rare people it might do this too...so he said that its because I promise stuff and don't do it and that I am still supposely still lying from 4yrs ago... I don't buy that...

I think that or he doesn't find me attractive anymore
or that he get it somewhere else...

What do you think????

First off I can't believe this thread is still alive. This thread is nothing but a fake or you have to be the most selfish and doubest woman on the face of the earth. I don't normal speak this way about people but when the truth is so obvious I can't help myself. Good luck fooling the rest of the world but you aren't fooling me.

In reply to hornyncute:

Just let me tell you something... you have no right to judge me.. OK

I am telling you what happen, and personnally I was not talking to you because I found you very RUDE AS A PERSON AND NO HELP AT ALL...

You know not everyone is the same...OBVIOUSLY YOU HAVE NO PROBLEM FUCKING YOU BF WITH OTHER CHICK...well you are not me... so back off with your comments!!!! you have nothing good to say to help me SO DON'T SAY AT ALL...

You don't even know what kind of person is my bf and what kind of person I am and BY THE WAY I AM NOT SELFISH...WHAT IS THAT SELFISH BECAUSE I FEEL INSECURE TO SCREW A WOMEN WITH MY BF..SOMEONE THAT IS NOT EVEN TURN ME ON.......

Yeah know wrote post in responce to your last one. I have done away with it, mainly because I don't think you would be able to understand it. So as not to be a low as some people on this thread I will hold my tongue, unless you want to hold it for me. LOL hehehehe.

In reply to FrenchMaid:

In reply to hornyncute:
The deliberate poor grammer is usaully what gives it away. It's clear someone's responding to themselves under multiple identities but they probably mean no harm. With all this technology one would think people would be less lonely. I think we're more shut off than ever and this sort of thing is a perfect example.

Byduhway, anyone know where find good girlfren. ol wun not like no more..... just kidding

I think that this thread has gone on a rather long time, but I think that there really is a language thing going on. Maybe I'm dumb but one reason that this had continued is because people respond with comments that make about as much sense as the language barrier is causing. Meaning that she is having trouble understanding us and we her and besides people read little bits and respond to what they think that part says.

I agree that Frenchmaid has a problem in that she does not wish to leave a man that is abusive physically and who is possessive and who may be cheating.. These things she has said. Some people here have listened and have responded positively but Frenchmaid is not either understanding or refusing to take the plunge and walk away from a bad relationship. 17 years be dammed. I walked away from an abusive relationship of 14 years with 3.5 kids because enough is enough. The abuse was verbal, acusitory and financial and possible cheating, which I was being accused of. So the only thing I find strange about this thread is that French maid wishes to stay in the relationship but is looking for a way to salvage it. That is not likely to happen. As for the language barrier 2 things come to mind, that I heard as a kid... "Louegi what I'ma think I'ma say no comma out the way I think I'ma mean it." and the other one is; "the road to hell is paved with good intentions" .. We can't help someone who refuses to see the resolution. ANd the more we think we are helping the more we confuse the issues... These are just my humble observations.. Frenchmaid.. just come to NC and we can see if we can help you understand... dump the ass you are with...
Ray

In reply to xplorr94248:

Hi Ray!

I did not meant to be mean to anyone here, but I don't like when Hornycute Judge me she never had anything good to say about me other that I am lying or I am selfish or I am stupid...

I am not like that at all!!!

I know I made a lots of mistake and I don't blame my boyfried for those mistake (I made them all on my own) and I know that (I promise him thing that I did not keep) but there a lots going on too and its too long to explain, its very hard for me to go to bed with him and some other women when he treated me like shit! I don't feel love so how will I feel there with me and someone else? That what I am trying to say!!!

If he would make me fell like he loves me I probably feel much more confident!!!

Ray what do you mean by this: ((( the only thing I find strange about this thread is that French maid wishes to stay in the relationship but is looking for a way to salvage it. That is not likely to happen. ))))

The part why I am still there is $$$ play a big game in it and the support, I don't have any! And I always think that maybe one day I will get better and we could be happy again and fix those problem!!!

My intention on this site was not to hurt anyone but just try to make friends from different place and get some tips...

Thanks

In reply to hornyncute:

If you have something to say don't hold your tongue let it trun any way you want!!!!