My husband and I have been talking about bringing a 3rd into the picture. I am for it (after all I brought it up) But not sure what the outcome will be. I know it would be exciting to do. But what happens the day after. I'm a little scared I know I would enjoy it. The sight of a naked female turns me on. I just can't stop thinging what is he going to think of me (even though he is excited about the whole thing). Do you thing a 3rd or a couple would be best? Can you give me your experience of how it happened and how the emotions were the following day, how did the both of you react? Help Please

FOR US IT HAPPENED OUT OF THE BLUE WITH A FEMALE FRIEND. IT WAS VERY TENSE THE DAY AFTER AND I THINK ONLY BECAUSE WE REALLY NEVER DISCUSSED IT PRIOR TOO IN GREAT DETAIL AND NEVER TALK ABOUT OUR FEELINGS ETC. I THINK YOU NEED TO TALK ABOUT THE WHAT IF'S AND BE VERY SECURE IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP. OPEN COMMUNICATION IS THE KEY. AS FAR AS IT BEING WITH ANOTHER COUPLE OR JUST ANOTHER FEMALE I WOULD GO FOR THE FEMALE. I AM MORE INTERESTED IN ANOTHER WOMAN THAN A COUPLE BUT I GUESS IT'S WHATEVER YOU BOTH ARE COMFORTABLE WITH. GOOD LUCK!!!!

We have been discussing it. He has told me what he doesn't want and I have told him what I don't want. We have agreed. But what I'm not sure of is What would be a better way to try things. With 2 male 1 fem, 2 fem 1 male, just 2 fem, or going to a swinger club and check things out. Our sex life is really good and we have a great relationship. I just want some type of feedback to let me know how everyone else's relationships were afterwards. I have been able to tell him what I want but have also told him I was not sure if I was ready. I think for the 1st time it should only be 2 females excluding him but allowing him to watch. He is comfortable with that and I have told him if I don't enjoy then that puts and end to it all. and he has ageed. But like some of the other posts where they are worried about the husband falling for the 3rd. I'm not to concerned with that but more a little bit about him touching the other women. Like someone post we don't own each other but it is still is a little thought in the back of my head. He would enjoy me touching another women but would a I be ok with him... I guess all I'm looking for is someone to just tell me it is normal how I'm feeling. On one hand I want thins.... On the other would I be ok with him doing it.

for us.
we wished my close friend had a bigger penis then me,and we have'nt done it again.we have a great relationship and we love each other.we dont think it was a mistake.but if there is a next-time we will makesure what we want.in your case you wanting another girl.lucky him.my wife said she could not bring herself to do that.but she did say she would let a girl go down on her.(she's one-way ) ..lol....take care...steve

Response to curious.
What you are feeling seems quite normal - for those who choose NOT to engage in these kind of relationships, which is most of the world when you think about it. We are, by the nature of our decisions to enter into relationships, territorial and somewhat possessive. Plus monogamous relationships are what our society has trained us for since birth. So perhaps the question should be - why wouldn't you have these feelings.
BUT, if you have these concerns, you are treading in dangerous territory. Perhaps an example is the best explanation. We recently went to a local swing club and sat with a new couple. After some discussion we learned that she was there to fulfill his (and 100 Million other men's) fantasy of him watching her with another woman. She said that while she might be interested in a fuller swap, "he would never agree to that and there'd be hell to pay". At the time she was saying that, her partner was across the table with his hands on my partner's private parts telling her how much he'd like to do a full swap. It wasn't much longer before she stormed out in anger.
The moral is you can't do this kind of activity without complete honesty and have your relationship survive. While it's easy for some of us to say that having our partner touch or be touched (intimately) by another person is just fine, it takes watching it actually happening to know for sure. And when that happens, if the feelings don't work, there has to be a comfortable way for you both to make it stop. Finally, take it from a willing male - while we might say we're happy to "just watch", it is the VERY rare male who doesn't want to get tangled up in that. The sight of a different woman all hot and bothered with my partner drives me crazy - and I'd put big money that I'm not alone. Good luck!

I appreciate everyone's help on this subject. I just want to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Basically someone telling me what I'm feeling is normal and that if I do go through this then my relationship will become better. But then again no one know's. Thanks for the advice we will propbale start out by going to a club and taking it slow and see what will happen next.

In reply to Curious92509:hi i hope my 2 cents gets to you hers the best advise i can give a smart person dosen t need it and a dumb one won t take it,i think you want reashureacens that you name dosen t change and that the neighbors are looking at you different well they might or might not as far as i can see you and him decide what makes you happy and remember he might have some request of you that might be a little tough but if he can watch and not touch hes a better man than me i sujest you chain him to something hes just a man,but as to the morring if you guys desided togethere to do this the morring will still be exciting shareing feelingds of new things some good some great i just can emagine any bad if yous want to do this try it enjoy it as to normall on this site hell plaese discribe it to me?if it makes yous happy or kicks starts your mind and you have fun everyone has fun noones hurt can you tell me why not?enjoy life its an adventure just think how much time wasted when you could have been haveing fun?i wish you the best if you two are good with it enjoy it great but if either one is jellious make shure that you work it out or it with make it uncomfortable for the remeber everyone has fun not spector sport chains importan and lub handdy cause when he getts loose you better be ready for round 2 trust me on that hope it helps its ok but normal?sorry don t know what that is ps.if you need someone to hold the lights can i do it sound like fun to me lol enjoy

what you are feeling is perfectly normal. I felt the same and had the same questions before we started.My husband and had disscused the idea and length until we were both comfortable with what we decided.It turned out to be a very good experiance for both of us. the morning afterward was a little akward but only because i kept thinking about my insicurities . after we talked i found out he had some to. for example I was afraid he'd relized that he needed more and he felt that i wasn't satisfied with just him anymore but after talking and laughing we both realized it was sillyand just not true. We are very comfortable with it and only do it on occassion now. About the him just watching though I personally don't think that is wise because first he's a male and he'll want to join even if he does watch for a little while. Second, think how you would feel if the roles were reversed and you just had to watch him. My husband and i discused this issue too and we both felt that the other one shouldn't be left out. for one of us not to participate would cause hurt feelings and ruin the experiance we both know we would like to try. It also seemed unfair to ask some to just sit there and not get as much pleasure as the other. We are all about making sure each other is as satisfied as the other. this also seems the case with you two or you wouldn't be married as long as you have. We also have found that meeting them first and getting to know through several dates makes it much more relaxed and enjoyable and the feelings afterward less stressed than if it is spontanious. I hope this helped and good luck to you two in your new adventours.

My wife and I have had the very same thoughts as you have. I really want to watch her have sex with another man (or men) or another woman. I have tlod her over and over again that it would not bother me to just watch and I would opnly join in if she wanted me to. I respect her feelings and have given her my word that what ever she does, I am fine with. She has my full approval to fuck or suck whoever she wants as long as I get to hear the full details later and possibly join in at a later date.

First of all welcome to the lifestyle. Now as to what you want or not want etc.. whatever it is it will change over time. How to go about it.. I think the simplest path is to go to an off premise club and then to the after party. That way there is nothing tooo shocking and you can absorb in stages and move slowly if you wish. There is no pressure either internally or externally to do anything but there is the oportunity to do what you may wish to do. What ever the mix MFM, FMFM, FMF, FFM, FFFM it will come naturally over time.. You need not be in a hurry to get to a destination... The trip is at least as good as the getting there.

Ray