How do you delete oneself from this site?

Something that someone who has been in the lifstyle said to us, as we have begun our quest is that the only way to get to the truth that works for you is to find the truth that you are both seeking and see if it is the same.

You both need to have the same motivation for doing this, or you will find that it will be very uncomfortable for you in the process.

If you find out what his motivation is, and can provide him with what he needs to be happy, you will then need to determine if your motivation is only to please him, if that is the case, then you need to decide how far you are willing to go in order to do so.

You mention in your profile that you are submissive, if submitting to hiim is what makes you happy, do so, if you don't want to do the things he is asking then you are not truly submitted to him in the manner it sounds like he desires.

Again, you need to determine truthfully what motivates each of you and see if that is enough to enable you to enter this together without reservation. Good luck, sounds like you have a journey to travel and no one can travel it for you.

I am submissive enough...he just wants to be rough during sex...and I told him thathe could be but he said he cant be rough with me cuz he cares for me...I mean that is stupid. His reasoning is stupid.

As I said, you need to discuss and discover both of your motivations for your desires.

It sounds to me like you two need to have a long talk about your desires, and you need to get together on your defintions of submissive so that you are both on the same page regarding what that means, to each of you.

Submitting to rough play in bed is not necessarily being submissive sexually to him.

We havetalked about it. It is what he wants. From what I took from him if I do not go through with it he will just end up cheating on me. He says he loves me but I just cant get passed the whole thing...like if someone loves you why do they need to have sex with other ppl...and if someonetruelly loves you they wont cheat on you.

I agree 100% with drs7515... ultimatums aren't healthy for a relationship... sharing your fantasies and desires with others and each other is a great pleasure but ultimatums to me at least says, he'll do it with or without your approval anyways.... this lifestyle is acceptance by 2 in a relationship otherwise it is called cheating.

Good luck and Happy Trails.. Radar...

if he is making you choose then it clearly shows that he is only thinking of himself and not considering your feelings. Also if he can say that he will just probably just cheat on you anyway! come on! he is thinking of himself and he's going to do what he wants to do with or without your permission, and if you break up he will probably try and turn it aroungd on you and make it be your fault. if your not comfortable with it then you shoul not do it.

I read a lot of hesitation in your article. If your not ready for this lifestyle, or if your only willing to try this lifestyle for him, then you better think twice about swinging. But if the Idea of swinging excites you and the thought of him getting, as well as you recieving explosive orgasms and fresh sex all the time then go for it. My wife came to me and wanted me to try it. I, to say the least was very hesistant. She to told me that if we didnt do something about our sex life then we could possibly cheat on each other and possibly not be together in the future. I thought about it and drew the analogy that driving the same car for 20years is kinda boring and you dont respect or take car of the car when its old as when it is new. Sex with your partner is the same way. The only diffrent is marriage is upposed to last a lifetime. MY CAR SHURE DOESNT....

My wife and I have been in this life style for almost 15 years. We have done group, alone, couples and its been great. But I can tell you I never ignore her nor does she me, not during, not after. She has spent nights in hotels and I freaked out, so she stop and I never have. Bottom line go slow, be careful. It can be alot of fun, but lets face it we are all human and have feeling that can get hurt.

Good Luck!

Lost Girl, I believe before you get into this lifestyle you both need to agree. If he forces you into it and you do it just to please him, it will cause you to resent him even more that you do know and will eventually ruin your relationship. No one should be forced into this decision. I wish you luck, but I would think twice about being with someone that does not respect you.

You really need to re-read your original post.... Only... this time pretend one of your best girlfriends came to you with this problem. What would your advice to her be? I feel pretty confident that if you have any self esteem whatsoever... you will not only not enter into this lifestyle for him and only because of him... you will tell this self centered jerk to hit the road..... This is coming from the male half of this relationship.