As mentioned in a seperate thread, there ARE people in the lifestyle with STDs - I've met some! I'd be willing to bet there are people with accounts here that have them. So my questions:

1) If you have an STD, are you honest with potential playmates, or do you keep it to yourself?

2) If you don't have STD, would you consider swinging with anyone that had one (using safe sex, of course)?

No, I would not want to play with some one who has STD's even with a condom. And I would hope that people would treat others the way they want to be treated and tell if they have something. But I know that isn't always the case. Swingers I feel are open and HONEST that means respect for others even if that means you can't play.

In reply to Anonymous:
No. my little Bennie weeny would stay home. No need to take the chance of spreading something that won't wash off with ivory.

"Be happy, plug it; or cut it. But, please; don't spread it"
is my motto I live by.

No I would not want to play with someone who has STDs. If someone put that in their profile I guarantee nobody would reply to it. Besides I don't rely on people being honest in this lifestyle, that's why you always have to use protection even though it's not a 100% guarantee that you won't get a disease. I think everyone should get themselves checked out every two months just to make sure. Its always in the back of my mind and my wife's.

STD's are a fact of life and CERTAINLY a concern in the lifestyle.

Personally, those who 'club' and 'gang bang' are either infected or will be. STD's include herpes which can be contracted through any contact with an infected person regardless of condoms.

Know you swappee's.....Be careful and be smart.

Nature, unlike man, doesn't discriminate.

M&K

neither me or my wife will have sex , or play with cpl having std , as we are new to this kind of life style , we dont want to start in a wrong path , i believe having a play with secured cpl will help .
we had some e-mails from cpls where we find out that the guy has more than one lady friend , we actually refuse that .
but in this kind of life style we have to take the risk , but always be careful by practising a safe sex , and visit a doctor ASAP if you feel something wrong or itching

I think before people sound off on not being with those who have STDs, they should at least get themselves checked out once every few months. They say that 1 out or 4, or 1 out of 5 people have herpes. Because many have it and don't know it, it could be one of out every 3 people. Which means those who don't know they have it are primarily the ones out giving it to other people. I feel thet that by mere
odds alone, if people continue to sleep with and play a lot in swinging, they take a chance on getting genital herpes eventually. Whereas the odds of getting it from a cautious person who has it probably is much lower because they know they have it and they know
how to avoid giving it to someone. Whereas most people are not as cautious about other STDs and they may have contracted something and not know it. So please get tested and do it often. Don't assume you don't have anything. You can have herpes and not see anything visual or different. You can have it and not feel any pain or anything. Get tested. There are some myths out there and exaggerations about Herpes, I am not saying it is a good thing, don't get me wrong, but don't believe everything you read either. And I am not suggesting that people spread anything either so please do not misunderstand me. Be careful but be fair. You won't get herpes from talking to someone or dancing with them or giving them a hug!

No we wouldn't play with anyone who has a STD period!!!! Why take the chance???? As janosvan said in his posting......some people with herpes don't know they have it. We talke enough of a risk with people who seem desease free. Why would anyone want to take a chance with someone they knew had a STD?????? Maybe I am wrong but this just seems to be a no brainer to me.

So I went to WebMD and looked up Herpes; which everyone seems to be so worried about among the STD's. It seems that 80%-90% of the population has the Herpes Virus and if you have any unprotected sex with someone who is infected, you will have it too. Okay, lets say you don't have sex but just kiss someone with oral herpes; gotcha! If that person has unprtotected oral sex with anyone, male or female, then they've got it too. Genital herpes is nothing more than oral herpes trasferred to the genitalia. Think about your next blow job... Think about the next pussy you go down on....

You assume that others are telling you the truth that they don't have herpes; well, about 80% of the people who have it, don't know they have it.....

In other words, the only safe sex is sex with your own hand !!

Assuming that this was not the reason you are in the lifestyle, you must take all safety precautions to ensure your own safety. Fellatio is not "safe" without a condom (no fun), cunnilingus is not safe without a dental dam or female condom(no fun); even then you are at the mercy of the condom's reliability and proper use. Fingers used to thrill another lady should also be covered with a condom.

In other words, NEVER assume the other people are telling you the truth, they may not know the truth! You should assume that they all have STD's and decide what risk level that makes you and your partner(s) are informed and comfortable with the risk they are taking.

Better yet, get yourself to a Dr. and have him run an STD panel on you and your partner; you might discover that you have more than you realize.

Don't be naive and think it won't happen to you!

In reply to Anonymous:
Since you went and saw something it's not quite the whole story.. You're right that HSV1 & 2 are the same except where it resides. You do not pass it on just because you have it unless typically you have active leasions... Note that I said typically... it sometimes is passed just before or just after an outbreak when I believe the term is the virus is sluffing cells. Another fact is according to CDC is that between 93 & 96% of all adults will test positive for HSV(Herpies Simplex Virus) This does not mean that you eill catch HSV2 via kissing, oral sex or penetration, It simply means that you might or could have a chance to catch it if that sexual partner is "sluffing" HSV cells. Now for the hand thing.... Say you have a cold sore on your lip and you touch it and then masturbate... or have sex with someone and you touch them where thee is soft moist tissue or visa versa... You could transmit the HSV...active case to that person... So as the comedian once said and I think it was Robin Willians who said it..."I don't even play with myself any more with all the diseases out there"... I wonder if he knew that he really could catch something..

HPV or genital warts.... according to CDC 's files of research.. there are some 250 types of htis disease and only a couple have dangerous consequences. But the real news is that approx the same percentage of the populus will test positive to HPV as will for HSV. Kids pick up the virus playing and sometimes get planters warts.. If you have treated your kid for planters warts...you've been exposed ignoring the possibility that you may have already been carrying the disease for years. Learn to identify the leasions or warts and be careful how you play. If you are so afraid of the consequences, maybe the lifestyle is not for you.. I didn't say be reckless just careful... Worrying causes stress and stress can weaken the immune system.. The lifestyle is about fun...
Ray

i'm honest about myself, and the first thing i do when interacting with anyone on a sexual level is have the D&D talk. And then we talk about drugs and disease, too. (for those of you that caught that, kudos. lol )

i've read the posts here. i read in this thread that if there was a personal with someone being honest that they have an STD it wouldn't be replied to. Granted, that may cut down on replies, but i believe that *informed* individuals/couples will reply to get to know the person. If someone's got enough character to be honest up front about their status, then that's someone i want to get to know. Not someone who claims to be D&D free and then freaks out if the words STD are muttered in the same zip code as them out of a guilty conscience. lol

It's true that 80-90% of the general pop has HSV (Herpes Simplex Virus). only 1 out of 5 know that they have it, and only 25-40% of those people are honest about reporting it to their partners.

Personally, unless i'm in a LTR with someone (no matter what the level, friend for years, or boyfriend/lover for the forseeable future...) who has given me perfect reason to trust them, i won't have fun with someone without rubbers. Period. There are worse things than herpes out there.

And what bugs me is the fact that there ARE those worse things out there, yet herpes still carries a large stigma to it, for the most part. Hence the reason that many people do not come out truthfully about themselves as having the infection. And that's what it is: a viral infection. You can't contract it by hugging them, or sitting next to them, or going bowling with them. For type 1 OR type 2, unless there's an outbreak, the chances of catching it are fewer than if the infection were active.

You can get it without knowing it, and it doesn't make the person that carries it any less a person, or any less deserving of self-satisfaction and gratification. I know because I have it. Got it from being raped back in high school. Does that make it my fault? No, certainly not. However, it did become my responsibility once i found out i had it, which was not for another 3 years. I have found out that I have no problems finding people to swing with, if for no other reason (after they find out) than the fact that i'm honest and represent myself truthfully. People that can get so scared of it that they back away from me at the speed of light really weren't worth my time to begin with anyway. I'll have fun anyway sooner or later. ;)

But yeah. Here endeth the mini-rant/lecture/thingie. New person chiming in. lol

In reply to Anonymous:
I just wish people would get informed about HSV and other STD's before they lay bad trips on others. The following is copied from a doctors comments on a swingers web-site... Good info and not some gobble-d-goop... But there really is no difference between HSV 1 & 2 other than where it resides and if you've ever had a cold sore.. You'll test Ppositive for HSV(herpies). If you've had planters warts and several other of the apprx. varieties of HPV you will test positive for Human Papaloma Virus or for the STD type of Genital Warts (no differentiation in that either) Most kids have had some form of HPV in their life.

Many people don't know it but if one has a cold sore in their mouth and have oral sex, they can pass HSV I to their partner and it becomes HSV2 only because of location... There really is no difference between HSV1 and HSV2.

Here is the post from a Dr on a swinging site forum:

Wow this is a heated conversation. First, I'm a physician. Second, I am a member of the American Association of HIV Medicine. Third, I swing. Fourth, see the CDC site for all sorts of the stats. Fifth, for the attorneys out there, this information is provided informally and is not intended to be a guide on which readers are to base decisions.

BI-MALES: it all depends on your sexual activity. Men who ONLY engage in oral activity with other men are probably no worse off than women who do peform oral on men. UNLESS, you engage in rough deeply insertive oral sex and are the reciever. New stats show that if the insertive partner is HIV+ you have a good chance of becoming infected when engaging in rough oral sex. That stat goes up if you are altered [drugs/etoh]. This oral stat goes for women too. If you are a Bi-male and engage in any type of insertive activity then you fall into the category of MSM [men having sex with men] and the stats show that those individuals, especially men who are anally receptive, historically have the highest risk for contracting HIV. So should there be a seperate category for oral Bi-males and full Bi-males? [Nothing personal just stating the facts]

The biggest STD is still chlamydia [it can infect the throat and be passed oral-genital but genital-genital is by far the most common]. So if your throat is sore - don't engage in activity; its probably not but could be Chlamydia but do you want to make others sick?
Depending on who you talk to then comes Herpes, Gonorrhea, Genital Warts and Syphilis [which is making a come back of sorts]:

HERPES - from cold sores on your mouth to the genital lesions. Both can infect you in either place. So if you feel the tingle of a cold sore don't play. You are shedding virus and WILL infect someone. In fact, approximately, 15% of those with recurrent cold sores/genital lesions not medications will shed infectious virus even though they feel or see no evidence of an imminent outbreak. There are meds on the market that stop/decrease outbreaks and decrease viral shedding . . . please take them. Condoms, Courtesy,

GONORRHEA - again, mostly genital to genital spread but can infect throats and be spread that way too. Condoms/Dental Dams

GENITAL WARTS - caused by a virus. The wart/lesion can be removed. Once removed and area healed no further transmission risk. I've seen these occur on fingers too and that be a mode of transmission. Condoms. Awareness.

SYPHILLIS - remember that odd ulcer/sore on or near your penis/vagina that didn't hurt and healed up after a few days? Well, that was Syphillis!!! And just b/c the sore went away doesn't mean you still don't have it and are capable of passing it on. Go directly to your local STD clinic or Pvt MD. Condoms.

HIV - you still need to be pretty damn unlucky to catch it or you engage in risky behaviour [IVDU, MSM, Bi-Males > heterosex, lesbian, bi-females]. Those are the stats and if you don't like them then change your behaviour to a less risky group or abstain. Remember, IVDU includes members of all those other groups who "use" which is one way the virus "moves" between groups. One word - don't ever brush your teeth vigorously, let alone floss before swinging - the micro cuts in your gums are perfect entry ways into your body for infection. Gargle with Listerine and chew tartar control cum. Also, don't shave your genitalia that same day for the same reason . . . micro cuts . . . shave at least the day before. Also, LEAVE THE LIGHTS ON SO YOU CAN SEE. This isn't a physical exam but definitely visually inspect your partner[s] as the play progresses to become more intimate.

HEPATITIS - Hep A and B are far more common and easier to catch by engaging in sexual activity than HIV. Hep C - no one know for sure if Hep C is transmitted sexually but about 10% of cases out there the mode of transmission/infection cannot be determined - so people think it may be sex. Then there are Hep D, E and G. Only one to worry about in this group is D but it usually is carried along with B and transmitted in the same manner.

Don't know where that leaves any of you. But I would definitely recommend always using a condom with people - even if you know them unless you have formed some type of closed swinging group. And even then, insist on everyone being tested before abandoning the protection. How often should people who swing be tested? Thats tough. Personally, we go every 6 months but if you are really active or have risky/no condom encounters then every three/two months perhaps monthly would not be a bad idea.
Also, as a side note. It is my understanding that the adult entertainment industry tests monthly and uses the PCR DNA test [which is much more sensitive than the normal antibody screening test typically given at clinics]; the incident of HIV in adult performers is waaay low. See the AIM website for info.

So read before you judge. Many STD's can be successfully protected against. Safer sex is no guarantee but incidence of STD's within the lifestyle are extremely low for those who are informed. Play safe and become infomed

Ray