My bf and I have been on swingdater.com for almost 3 months...Now we have had some fun times with our web cam and other cpls,but we are finding that most of the time when we say that we are looking for a cpl or female to cam WITH..all we get is the male half of a cpl...we can't understand why this is...we are honest about the way we look and we both know that we aren't the most prettiest gal or the most handsomest guy in the world..if anyone can explain to us why the "guy" in the cpl is always willing to cam and the female always seems to be away or in bed or other reasons like that please feel free to post a reply.....Thank_You

B & I are real but she rarely gets on this computer and on occasion she will cum back and cam for a few minutes but for the most part she wants no part of the computer except in small bites.. There are other reasons and some of them may be legit... Like the wife has gone to bed or she is working. Getting a bath.. And the list goes on... There are also the guys who are married and cheating as well as the single male who is playing married...Or the single guy who is listed as a couple because his SO swings with him but does not live with.... Hopefully you will learn to detect the fakes from the real people by what and how they phrase things. So some reasons are real and some ore fake...

In reply to xplorr94248:
we Understand where you are coming from but still don't understand why when we say that we want to cam with another CPL or FEMALE that we always get a guy that is willing to cam but no females.....We are sorry if we are pounding a dead horse sort of speak but the only way to get honest answers is to be honest with the questions...Thanks for your input and we look forward to hearing more from you and other people

In reply to darlene:
i am new at this and with it, i am hoping for honesty..I am the woman, and I wouldnt be on here if it wasnt for my hubby wanting to do this with me..i wouldnt waste anyones time going thru the process of filling out forms and looking for people, if it was a single guy or girl i was looking for. I can get that just about anywhere. I want to have intimate times with an intimate couple, right from the start go of pure honesty and sincerity...and if people here cant respect that...then it makes it harder for us who legitally want to pusue it.

In reply to TWO_AND_TWO:
very true and i don't think that we could have said it any better...glad that there is someone out there like us who believe in honesty and sincerity......hope that we can chat more sometime in the near future...and hope to hear what others think about this topic as well :)

"all we get is the male half of a cpl...we can't understand why this is..."

Darlene, my wife says there is 'little meat in the smokehouse' (she's from Tennessee) when it comes to ladies being invloved here.

What this means - the ladies, that is - is anyone's guess. You've offered a few possibilities. There was another lady, here, TXHoney, who had a similar point of view.

Perhaps you need more input from the ladies to get a handle on this; we men have answers for EVERYTHING and that which we cannot answer, we FIX....<g>

'm'

You know, I have to agree with that, whenever hubby and I are chatting with a couple..it always seems to be the male part, when we ask to speak with the female half, they are either busy or mysteriously have just left. Or as xplorr94248 says it is most likely a male cheating . I personally like having hubby by my side when we chat or cam.

Just to add on to this topic...in our case, we started out together "shopping people." After a few weeks, my wife got burnt out on the searching, sifting and screening part. So the way we do these kinds of things, once I feel there is a real possibility with a couple, I bring the wife into the picture. And she then becomes very involved.

That's just the way we do it with busy lives and all. It's probably a "hunter/gatherer" thing, I don't know. But even though this is the way we go about it, we agree, it would be nice to hear from more women with something to say. Perhaps there are other couples out there that handle it similarly to us. And so with a little more patience maybe there are other women that are just waiting for good match ups...

2Tonka

In reply to mrandmrsplslik:
I am glad you feel the same way. We are usually most times both here together just like yourselves but the odd time I am here if I decide to come in during the day as John is at work. Sometimes John does come on alone but only if I am at work as sometimes we aren't home together. But 9 out of 10 times we are here together and we just wish more couples were doing this together.

I am here most of the time , more than my wife ...
we are both new to this kind of a life style , sometimes she gets busy with the kids , but when ever we have a chance , we chat togther .
we found that when we chat we a cpl ( we dont see them ) they seem very nice , so we keep in touch with them , here is something to say , i sometimes say that i am the female and i find out the cpl we used to chat with is a male only chatting most of the time and trying to get my wife alone .
one thing to add it was my idea to swing , and i have asked so many cpls before and it was the male idea , so my wife always says find the right cpl then i will join and chat , and we both go from there .
people here must be honost , this is an adult site so we all expect no kids stuff or games .
we have posted so many pictures but we deleted them , and in our profile we say NO single , but still they add us in thier blackbook and they invite us to chat ..!!
it is hard to find out if you are chatting with a male or a cpl .

Your "ages" remind us, of ourselves "Wife-44" - "Husband-36" and we know how you feel, we did the Cam thing 3yrs back and we dealt with the "Krap" that can go with it. If you would like to chat, contact us and we can go from there ... Cams on of course :).

Mick n Darlene

In reply to MicknDar:
M&D, it might be helpful if you, and other 'camming' couples.' start a new thread and describe the technical as well as courtesy aspects of web camming.....

I know I would be interested in hearing about this.

'm'

Well I have come to a conclusion to the question. Most of the females won't chat even when in the chatroom. It seems to me that only the men do. I have been in the chatroom and tried to chat with a few of the females and some of them being single females and they just don't chat. When I check the profiles these same women are not just looking for single guys. I chat when I am here alone and as does my bf but most times we are here together. Unless as I stated one or the other is at work, which happens. Anyway I now understand why it is the male half most of the time. I still believe that sometimes the female partner isn't into this as much as the male, and that is why the female is always gone or in bed or something but I wish that more females would get involved as its nice for the women to chat together as well as chatting with the guys. Dar

In reply to darlene:
We also as a couple have the same problem with singles who claim to be a couple we have it marked down on our profile what we are looking for and when we are looking for fun we actually look at peoples profiles to see what they are interested in and still got burned! so it's coin toss in what you get live and learn. we got lucky in meeting a great couple we live far apart but it was worth going through a bunch of muck to find them! maybe someone should start a cammin session for swingers by invite only(wink,wink) then we all could have the last laugh and the best time of our lives. don't give up we're not even from so far away!

I am the "gal" of the couple. Frequently, men are not really a couple. They will give that impression, but are really single. Single men step up this pacade to gain the confidence of couples who want to play on cam. That is one scernio. Another is quite often the wife or girlfriend are not exibitionists. Therefore they don't play on webcams, and I fall into that catagory. I have been a swinger for many years, and enjoy meeting new couples and bi women with my husband, but don't find playing on cam much of a turn on. I do enjoy watching my husband from time to time masterbating while watching a couple play on cam, and I also enjoy watching couples play. For me, I find it hard to focus on giving my man head, and watching the computer screen at the same time. Because I am not an exibitionist, and don't feel comfortable playing with myself on cam. You will find, that men in general tend to be much more willing and interested in showing their dicks than a woman is showing her boobs or pussy. Men are turning on more by visual stimulation than are women. Men tend to get more turned on when watched in General. Will I ever get comfortable enough to play freely on a cam? All I can say is, I never used to like to have pictures taken, and now I enjoy it. I hope this helps you.
Deb

In reply to swgingcplinheat:
I too used to be one who didn't even want her picture taken nude. Now I don't mind that at all. As for the camming I hesitated at first and then I decided to try it just once and see how it was. To be truthful the first time I was very nervous and yes I guess embarrassed to think I was doing this..But know I enjoy it and each time I find myself less nervous. We don't do this as an everyday thing and we don't do this with just anyone. We usually chat with these people several times and get to know them somewhat. We take it slow, and there has been a time when I just felt like the other cpl wasn't one I wanted to cam with. In time you may find that you would also like to try this so if you do than go for it but if this is something you don't feel you want to do then good for you. No one should do what they don't feel comfortable with.

In reply to mrandmrsplslik:

I have found in many cases... even with some ladies... that they fill in their profiles as couples just so they step around the restrictions of no single males.... perhaps the couples you speak to aren't really couples....

If your a single male or female... then be that.. truth is the first key to making this lifestyle work...... Happy Trails...

I really don't know the reason that other ladies won't get on here but B just would rather I do the talking for us. Occasionally she will make an appearance on the cam but we don't cam that much to stat with so what the hey...She will not sit down on the computer unless it's someone that we know quite well and SHE wants to talk to a particular person.... Answer when asked why she won't talk, ..."I don't want to talk on that thing" Her answer and I don't but the lady...Hell I have to live with her..LOL... I wonder if it has anything to do with the fact that they have a terminal staring at them 8 or 9 hrs every day...I wonder...LOL

Hello Everyone,

Being up front what you want is #1. Also make sure to talk to
both mates. I hate someone who lying or cheating on there mate.
Myself "Faye" I love the phone. Don well he likes both;o)
Making friends & having a good time # 1.

Good luck happy caming;o)

Don & Faye;o)

Ya" know--get a bigger hammer...I have problems also. Seems that the males always answer the ads. I'm not sure why. I don't have a web cam but if I did I WOULD be on it as much as possible. So to speak I like being an exhibitist....Don't give up and learn to weed thro' those types of things. Our profile states only couples..but it doesn't seem to matter. I guess it is all in what you make of it.

My hubby and I are a real couple and we tried to be on the computer together when chatting with others but sometimes i dont feel like being on or he doesnt and as far as the camming maybe the female just dont like to "play" on cam!! like us for example we rarely play on cam and when we do its only for certain cpls that we know but if u keep getting the male half just politely tell him there be no camming unless the both of them are there because we have the same problems has u do and thats why we dont cam unless we know for sure its a couple!now if it just me on and they want to see my cam i will turn it on but i wont play unless he's there too!

Well I am a single male and I do read the profiles, and if it does't say single male in it I won't send anything to it. So not all of us are bad, but I can see what you are saying. I've also been involed as a couple and yes there was times I would have to get my other half to the computer. And alot of single males are looking for couples to swing with and go to parties with. Well thanks for letting me write , thanks Steve